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Can you believe it’s been 20 friggin’ years since Clueless first opened in theaters? Twenty! In that time, we’ve had three presidents, moved away from VCRs and tape cassettes to digital streaming devices, and Birkenstocks have become popular again. Hell, I’ve grown from a wee little boy who first salivated when I saw Cher’s online closet to a grown ass man who can proudly enunciate A-L-A-I-A to folks unfamiliar with it’s proper pronunciation (Thanks, Cher!).
But the majesty of Clueless was unexpected. What started off as a simple teen comedy about vapid L.A. girls has morphed into a seminal cult classic. Director, Amy Heckerling wanted to recreate Jane Austen’s Emma with a modern twist, set in a high school where affluent teens gripe about sex, dating, and parallel parking. It started off as a satire that critics did not take seriously and has become a way of life. Who wasn’t in elementary or high school when Clueless came out and gave us valuable lessons on life, love and fashion? Upon re-watching it for this story, the film still holds up today (even the costuming is all too relevant). Still, fans old and new haven’t tired of the classic one line: “as if”.
In celebrating the movie’s 20th anniversary, we pick out 20 of our favorite life lessons that are still applicable from Cher & Co today. These valuable words of wisdom will help you navigate post college and into adulthood and hopefully keep you from totally buggin’, yo.
It is always great to do something good for mankind or the planet for a couple of hours.
Date older guys.
Don’t be “fried” all day long. It ain’t cute.
Save yourself for Luke Perry, even if he’s probably a member of AARP.
Continue to be picky about men and shoes.
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Always roll with your homies, even after you have an awkward encounter of ‘second blow’ with them.
There is NOTHING wrong with a “disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy”, you hear. NOTHING.
When guys tell you that they will call you “the next day” this still means “Thursday”. This also applies for Snapchats.
Baking leads to burning so have a great caterer on stand by.
Always show skin, this reminds people of sex and sex sells.
Hauling ass to the ladies room is still a legitimate excuse when riding the crimson wave.
Ren & Stimpy are still existential.
After undergoing plastic surgery, avoid activities where balls could potentially fly by surgical areas.
Depending on the place, everywhere you go has valet or better yet, Uber.
Virgins who can’t drive are still the worst.
Anything you can do to attract attention to your mouth is good.
It’s far better to veg out at home than to go out to a party.
It’s OK to kinda date someone who dresses better than you, just know that that person maybe into the same sex.
Getting together with your step brother/ sister ain’t that bad.
Don’t drive on the freeway. When it doubt take the back roads.
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Bonus: Having friends that you can share all your intimate details to and coordinate outfits with is pretty awesome.
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